Sleepless Nitez...

Weather: Drizzing
Mood: So-so.
Tune: Zhou Jie Lun - Ban Dao Tie he

Sigh... For the past 1 week or so, I've been sleeping very little. And I doubt tonight I can sleep well. Projects are piling up, and everyday when I reach home, I have to continuously do project till I get extrememly tired. Last week was WISP, and this week is FYM. Almost every week have to submit a module project. Tests and quiz are coming along too. Now still got driving lessons to attend.

I'm starting to learn Macromedia Flash now. It was very difficult. And many times, I felt like giving up. Perhaps powerpoint will do for my FYM project. Regretted that during my free time I didn't pick up Flash.

Things in mind are getting complicated nowadays. Been thinking about relationship stuff. If what andrea and wanping said is true, why doesn't I feel that priscelia have feelings for me. Am I being to insensitive? Hmmz... sometimes, I felt that priscelia just treat me as a good friend of hers. But nevermind, it can't be rushed. To me, the outcome would be the same. How long can it last? (Think I've totally lost confidence in relationship.) Afterall, I'm gonna get hurt again. Nothing's  new, but just like an old procedure to me.

Well, I'm fine being alone, by myself. Perhaps, that's the best solution to the sophosicated relationship's problems. Nothing to worry, nothing to care. I would feel bad if I don't care much about somebody. No one is going to blame me anyway.

Lots of problems have been filling up to its maximum usage. Need sometime to reformat it.  Ciaoz...

Too much or Too little, Doesn't Make a Difference now!

What can I say?

Mood: Zzzz
Weather: Drizzing
Tune: Trisha Yearwood - How Do I Live


I kept reminding myself. It's over, it's over. Nothing's gonna change the fact though it's already been more than a year. Memories stay, so does the hurt. When can I just fly away from this place? A far far awayland, where there's stress-free, hurt-free and care-free? Perhaps Heaven? Nahz, unless im DEAD!

Earlier this week, was chatting with Wanping on msn. It comes to my surprise that, she suspected that priscelia have a liking on me. Then she asked me whether do I have feelings for her? I don't know. But I told her, I still haven't gotten over Kat. And I don't want to commit to another relationship while I still have someone in mind. I doesn't want to hurt priscelia. She's a nice, adorable, good and loving girl. Anyway, who knows what's priscelia is thinking. Perhaps I'm just thinking too much. But if the timing is right, opportunity is there. Perhaps I would choose her.

I'm confused, I'm afraid, I'm sad. Afraid that another upcoming relationship is going to hurt me again. Sometimes, I just hate myself. I hate the way I feel. Hate the way I think. And hate the way I love. For my life till now, love is the only thing that changes me alot. From the First till the Last. I'm losing faith and hope for each time love failed me. Or maybe I failed in myself. Everytime I tired to open my heart to someone who really cares for me like priscelia, it's just shut off.

Today is my Birthday and thanks to all my family, friends, brothers and my god-sister (It's Zhengling, if you don't know). But I just hate this birthday. Perhaps the day I was brought into this world to suffer. Sorry to say that. Anyway, I'll still continue to pray. For everyone's health and peace.

Back...

Mood:
Weather: Moony
Tune: Trisha Yearwood - How do I live


I'm back. No mood to blog. Perhaps tomorrow ba. Bye!