What can I say?

Mood: Zzzz
Weather: Drizzing
Tune: Trisha Yearwood - How Do I Live


I kept reminding myself. It's over, it's over. Nothing's gonna change the fact though it's already been more than a year. Memories stay, so does the hurt. When can I just fly away from this place? A far far awayland, where there's stress-free, hurt-free and care-free? Perhaps Heaven? Nahz, unless im DEAD!

Earlier this week, was chatting with Wanping on msn. It comes to my surprise that, she suspected that priscelia have a liking on me. Then she asked me whether do I have feelings for her? I don't know. But I told her, I still haven't gotten over Kat. And I don't want to commit to another relationship while I still have someone in mind. I doesn't want to hurt priscelia. She's a nice, adorable, good and loving girl. Anyway, who knows what's priscelia is thinking. Perhaps I'm just thinking too much. But if the timing is right, opportunity is there. Perhaps I would choose her.

I'm confused, I'm afraid, I'm sad. Afraid that another upcoming relationship is going to hurt me again. Sometimes, I just hate myself. I hate the way I feel. Hate the way I think. And hate the way I love. For my life till now, love is the only thing that changes me alot. From the First till the Last. I'm losing faith and hope for each time love failed me. Or maybe I failed in myself. Everytime I tired to open my heart to someone who really cares for me like priscelia, it's just shut off.

Today is my Birthday and thanks to all my family, friends, brothers and my god-sister (It's Zhengling, if you don't know). But I just hate this birthday. Perhaps the day I was brought into this world to suffer. Sorry to say that. Anyway, I'll still continue to pray. For everyone's health and peace.