I hate this feeling... (Do not read or bear the consequences!!!)

Mood: Awful
Weather: Good
Tune: (Devil's speaking)


BEWARE!!! DO NOT READ the following content. I REPEAT, DO NOT READ! Bear the consequence!
If not FUCK OFF from here or read the next section.









Actually this small little blog of mine acts like a little diary to me. However the content is shared with everyone in this world. Using this as a place to escape, a place to write my thoughts, feelings, actions, everything. A place to feel relieve after writing. A place for me to hide. And a place for me "Let it off".

Right now, I'm having this "feeling" that is killing me. It makes me MAD. It makes me HURT. It makes me UNCONTROLLABLE. And it makes me change to the EVIL side once again. Many times I asked myself, "Why me?", "Why is it have to happen like this?". I'm not going to share this "feeling" with you cause it's unexplainable, unidentified. It's a feeling I have it since 2 years ago. And it's still growing. It comes without warning. It strikes even when I'm prepare for it. It goes straight to my heart, then to the my brains. The more I resist each time, the stronger the "feeling" gets.

How I wish those pills were here. It helps me took some loads off me 1 year ago. Those pills did wonders. It makes me light. I can sleep easier with that and when I wake up the day after without remembering anything from the previous day. And those are stress-free. Trust me, Don't try it. Those have side-effects.

Shock? Surprise? Can't believe I took those? Perhaps those reading this have another impression of me. I don't care. Because none of you have seen the real me. The real me is unpredictable, mysterious, impetuous, dangerous, ...... Well, you'll never get to see that as I'm good at suppressing my feelings and thoughts. Unless, you know, something real happens. Or else, I suggest that don't try me. Don't even think of it. My time is up and have to go. See you in next post with a better ME!